(picture from my 18th birthday party a week ago. you and me.)

it’s been about ten months now.

i’ve been good. ecstatic and simply.. simply amazing. i’ve been a teenager and i flirt with boys, and go out with my girlfriends, and for awhile even i really liked this college guy who drove me home in his car twice! i’ve been very good. and i’ve been independent.

but i have always missed you.

it’s been about ten months and you have a serious long distance relationship with someone new. the girl i always knew you’d end up with, even in the seventh grade i knew.

anyways. we’re not friends anymore. we don’t say hi to each other. you walked right passed me on my birthday and didn;t acknowledge me. and it was my house. and you knew. you knew.

you do not fathom me at all. you do not love me. you don’t even miss me a little.

you’re in love with someone else and i love nobody but i do miss you. and that is too much for me to want. i can’t. you won’t. and anyways you’re leaving in july to go off to the naval academy.

fuck we used to be best friends. the best of friends. fuck this, i can’t.

may 1, 2011