holding hands, making waves, drinking soup, defying gravity, kissing, humming, crying, cooking, living, breathing, blinking, shivering.
and you call me nothing now. do you realize what has been done?
you called me every night for four years, and during my first breakup you were the guy i called right after. you taught me how to kiss. how to ride a skateboard, how to understand ap history homework. you taught me how to laugh at myself, and how to be me. i can’t say all the countless things you’ve done for me. i’m too afraid it’s everything.
and now you call me nothing. i’m not your future wife. i’m not your girlfriend, i can’t even bring myself to be your friend. your best friend like we were, do you realize how devastated i am?
how you destroyed me. how much of myself i put onto you and how much i tried to show you. are you trying to tell me that everything i meant, all the notes we shared, all the times, every time, all the movies, all the food, all the late nights, all the quiet kissing, all the effort we put, it didn’t work? for years it had been futile?
god damnit, don’t tell me that. don’t tell me, please just help me to be happy. someone.
i’m crying because i told you.
you call me nothing. i don’t even exist to you anymore.